Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize