She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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