You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
