I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
