Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im holly from the hills drunk
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
