you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
