I love black thongs
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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