And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
