i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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