I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
