just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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