I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
