Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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