smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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