why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
