How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize