Don't you send me to vm
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Blood and glitter go together right?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
