Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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