Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize