so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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