shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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