Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
