So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
