The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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