Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
