Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
