If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
