The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize