i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
