Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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