too bad you live with your parents still
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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