I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We left the knife in your bed.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
