somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
