We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
