Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The air was thick with penises
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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