CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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