the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dear god my vagina.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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