Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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