You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
