have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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