Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
