My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
