so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think I won the penis lottery.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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