1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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