You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
