i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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