i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
