we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
