you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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