Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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