im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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