Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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