thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
