Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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