I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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