so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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