the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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