i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
