we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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