in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
