she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
