Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize