I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
