Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize