Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
