You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
