yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
