ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
